If there was a car crash outside your home today, how would
you inform the rest of the household?
Would you say: “Outside there is a street, and on that
street some cars drive up and down. This happens without incident every single
day, but just there two crashed into each other.”
Or perhaps: “Here are some statistics on car crashes. Each
day in the UK there are almost 100,000 road accidents, varying in seriousness
and type. One such incident just occurred.”
No, you’d say: “THERE’S JUST BEEN A CAR CRASH OUTSIDE.”
And that’s a blunt and unfurnished example of what the first
line of a news story, press release or other communication should be.
Too often I see examples of press releases (and sometimes
news stories) which take several lines to get to the WHAT.
That’s despite the WHAT usually being the most interesting
part - the element around which the whole story is based.
If you don’t get to the WHAT in the first line, your
audience and readers will drop off instantly, and many opportunities will be
missed.
Without the WHAT, the other four Ws of who, where, why and
when become largely irrelevant.
So when you’re writing an introduction to anything, don’t
attempt to be too clever.
Instead, report the car crash outside in the bluntest
possible terms, then refine and build your why, who, when and where around it.
Otherwise your introduction itself risks being a car crash.